30 Day Chronic Illness Challenge: Day 2

How have these illnesses affected your life?

I think the question here is how can they not affect your life? 

Your whole life changes, and I'm not exaggerating, it does! Suddenly you feel these pains all around your body, you don't know how you got them and you don't know why.

And people don't believe you about it. 

Now, growing up this was a real issue with me. My parents, specifically my mom, wouldn't believe me when I felt sick or hurt. So, she usually took me to the Doctor's once a whole week or two has passed. So, this was really nothing new for me. Except that it's worse because no one believes you, not even your doctors. And if they do believe you then they're complete assholes about it! 

You have to get used to it. You have to adjust your whole life basically. 

Sometimes you just have to take a whole minute to think "can I make it? will my legs work? can I write this? can my hand do this?" and when you can't do it, it's in all honesty the worst feeling in the world. You feel frustrated with your body and you feel worthless and pathetic. Exactly like I did. And if you're anything like me, when people ask you for help you refuse even though you really actually need it. Why? Pride. 

After that, the pain becomes normal. It's still there, it's always there! Something people often don't get. I'm always in pain. Always. 

And since you're so used to pain being always constant, when people asks you what hurts, you have to sit there for a second to think about it and analyze your own body to see what part of it is hurting. Because "hurting" and "pain" have become normal to you. 

So, basically everything about my life has changed. 

I've had to change the way I live, the way I think and feel and the way I perceive pain. But also, it's changed me a lot as person. I feel like I've grown because of it and know things I wouldn't have known otherwise.

xoxo,

- Merzy