Sometimes there is no reason why. It just comes and goes like the rain here. One second it could be sunny and the next it's raining a hurricane. It doesn't make any sense.
I don't know how to feel half the time. Sometimes I'm happy and okay and other times I'm not. And I try to figure out why but I just... don't know.
There are moments where I'm supposed to be sad or worried but I'm not... I don't feel anything. Or I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel.
Life is so much pressure.
Everyone expects so much out of you.
No wonder everyone doesn't know who they are; they're being buried alive by the sea of people telling them what they should and shouldn't be.
Don't you ever feel invisible? Like in the middle of a crowd but no one can see you?
That's how I feel sometimes.
Other times though, I'm happy with my friends. I'm positive and I believe there's good in the world. And I wish I could be that way all the time; the person with so much hope and wonder of the world.
But sometimes... I'm not.
I'm sad for no apparent reason and it frustrates me. I want to be able to control how I feel...
But then... I wouldn't be human, would I?
Feelings, emotions, confusion, frustration, hope, awe, love; all of the things that makes us human.
I honestly don't even know where this is going anymore. I'm sorry.
"My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations."
ReplyDeleteI truly understand the position you are in. Sometimes you find yourself reflecting on your own past, and the possible past of your loved ones around you. You may reflect on what it means to be human, what it means to be loved or to love someone. Times like this, where I see myself through our universe's eyes, tells me to reflect more on myself and how to respond to others around me.
I sometimes compare myself to the depth of the universe. The width of the space around all the planets fascinate me, and keeps me grounded. Our Earth is just one planet in our entire solar system. It is absolutely breathtaking to think about it. All of our lives, turning it one certain direction everyday. Always changing. Always rotating. Always moving.
Despite our own best efforts, humans will always be flawed. If it were not for those flaws, we wouldn't be who we truly are. Emotions make us human. Emotions give us reason to think, to be impulsive and wild just in a quick glance.
I thoroughly enjoyed this post. It made me think with reason again. And that is always good.
thank you so much. <3 And yes, exactly. That's exactly what I think.
ReplyDeleteI have a great profound love for stars and the universe and it's because, like you said, of how breathtakingly amazing and huge it is compared to us.
that was amazing to read by the way. It basically summed up everything I meant to say nice and tidy lol